Things the Actual FBI Said to Me. Det. Seabolt (Former) Badge Nm 0297. Ms.Brightside. Resigned 1992.

1. "We're holding it for you." My paycheck when I desperately needed to get immancipated and wanted to help other children in similar situations.

2. After requiring me to give a saliva DNA sample: A. Chamereas don't exist. B. I must be holding men hostage. C. I must be psychic, know which specimen cup the analyst will choose for me, and I then only taint those cups. D. I installed a device in my mouth that spits out other people's saliva mixed with mine. E. I must be a cannibal alien from outer space. I THOUGHT SHE WAS HIGH. INSANE. OR THAT I WORKED FOR A SHELL FBI FORMED BY THE MAFIA.

3. It is not illegal to rape, rob, assault, etc... an alien.

4. "Tara has it." Meaning if I have something, everyone else has to have it regardless of whether or not they have to steal it.

5. "Tara does it." Meaning they stare at me all day long, don't ask why I do things, presume they know what I am doing and why I do them, and imitate me.

6. That you have to lie to the press about the time and place of a crime in order to "protect the victim."

7. The mandatory comedy breaks turned into Starfuc*s runs.

8. I have a machine that spits out songs (music and lyrics) that I refuse to turn over.

9. That it is an agent's job to watch porn all day long, claiming to be searching for victims.

10. That belief in God is a psychosis.

11. That I had to help them get over their addiction to raping me.

12. After I reported my car stolen or being used for parts because the seat warmer switch was no longer on my driver's seat: "Are you the one complaining about buttons missing from your car?"

13. After I was raped in the restroom of the New Orleans Louisiana FBI building, "Why can't I have sex with my husband in the restroom of the New Orleans Louisiana FBI building like Tara does?"

14. After I was shot in the left ear through my bedroom window with a 22, woke up the next morning to Robert Michael Hodes Junior, Robin Rogers, and Loretta Ann Lysaght Seabolt in my apartment, "I thought you were dead. Robin, you told me she was dead." Thx Robert. Why on God's earth I chose to save your pathetic life is beyond me. F you all. F you all.